Arborea

The People's Democratic Autocracy of Arborea

News

Climate data refutes "global warming"

Posted by Tsar William I on June 4, 2013 at 11:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Data from Arborea’s weather analysts has effectively refuted the theory of “global warming.” Average daily temperatures in Arborea are now actually several degrees lower than when records began. These findings correlate with temperature data for the same time period in nearby New Zealand, adding to their weight.

The Tsar has declared that "global warming" should now be referred to as "global warming theory" and not taught in schools.

The International Panel for Climate Change (IPCC) has so far not offered comment in regard to these findings.

Data collection began in January 2013 and includes temperature and rainfall data.

Bioreactor declared safe

Posted by Tsar William I on April 21, 2013 at 3:55 PM Comments comments (0)

Following the devastating explosion at a fertiliser factory in Texas, USA, the Tsar personally conducted a surprise safety inspection of the Arborea Bioreactor Project.  He was happy with the status of the complex and concluded that the project adhered to the highest safety standards practicable.

Drought declared over

Posted by Tsar William I on April 21, 2013 at 3:50 PM Comments comments (0)

This morning the Tsar declared the drought officially over following a solid weekend of rain in Arborea.  Already over 62 mm of rain has fallen in Arborea this month, making April the wettest month since records began in January 2013.

New agricultural milestone

Posted by Tsar William I on January 7, 2013 at 8:00 PM Comments comments (0)

On 7 January 2013 Arborea reached a new agricultural milestone with the sale of our first breeding ram.  The 5 month old purebred Wiltshire ram was sold to a local smallholder for an undisclosed sum.  AHAB is also currently in negotiation with another local smallholder for the sale of a ewe and lamb - details are yeat to be finalised.  We will retain two ewes for further breeding in 2013.

This marks a new era for AHAB and Arborea as we can now be considered a Stud Breeder and therefore a provider of outstanding sheep genetics to the world at large.

Proceeds from the sale of sheep are being put toward the upcoming royal wedding in October.

Springtime news

Posted by Tsar William I on August 26, 2012 at 7:30 PM Comments comments (0)

It appears that Spring has arrived early in Arborea.  Traditionally Spring starts on September 1, however we have already seen plenty of trees flowering and two new lambs in our sheep flock.  Furthermore, the ducks have begun laying again and the ground is finally starting to dry out after a long wet winter.

Mid August saw the Tsar and his fiancee holidaying in Lakeside Province with extended family.  The holiday included a lot of relaxing with good food and drink, and a day-long scientific expedition on Lake Taupo by the National Oceanographic Research Agency.  Three rainbow trout were liberated from the lake (for scientific purposes) and various culinary experiments have been undertaken thus far.

News updates

Posted by Tsar William I on February 17, 2012 at 9:55 PM Comments comments (0)

Several exciting developments have recently taken place in Arborea.  Firstly, Plucky, the patriarch of Arborea's duck population has sadly (for him) been laid to rest in our freezer in order to a) provide food and b) make way for improved genetic diversity in our duck population.  He has been replaced by Webster, an unrelated drake with fine breeding who has bonded well with our two females Daisy and Poppy.  We look forward to hopefully raising more ducks in the future.


There is currently an egg famine in Arborea as both ducks and hens undergo the annual moult.  For the first time in months we have had to import eggs from Bay Province.  Hopefully this will soon be rectified.


While there is a shortage of eggs however, there is a glut in the cucumber market.  In fact Arboreans have grown so many cucumbers that to avoid spoilage the Culinary Institute of Arborea (CIA) have had to pickle most of them in preserving jars.  There is also an abundance of potatoes, tomatoes, and chillies, with capsicums, beetroots, radishes, and lettuces also producing well.  The freezer is brimming with home-grown meat (mutton, lamb, chicken, and duck), and the Commonwealth Brewery has just produced a crisp and refreshing ginger beer.


An outdoor bathing facility has been established, comprising a cast-iron bath suspended over a wood-fire in the native garden of the Tsar's Palace.  This has provided some glorious evenings of soaking in the warm water on these long summer evenings.


In all, self-sufficiency is proving a rewarding ambition, and Arborea would encourage other nations, both micro- and macro-, to aspire to it as we have.

Summer in Arborea

Posted by Tsar William I on January 11, 2012 at 4:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Summer in Arborea so far has given us a mixture of wet, humid, windy, and hot weather.  The long summer days have been enjoyed by Arboreans as we sip our Arborean beer (courtesy of the Commonwealth Brewery), snack on Arborean pizza made with our own mozzarella cheese and fresh herbs, and dine on Arborean lamb, mutton, or chicken served with Arborean seasonal vegetables.  The age of self-sufficiency is truly dawning over our great nation!

Recent weeks have seen the arrival of 2 baby chickens and a duckling – the first livestock to be bred on Arborean soil. Two sheep have been killed and butchered to provide a variety of delicious cuts of meat, and a recently bottled dark ale has performed very well in taste tests.  Upcoming projects for the Commonwealth Brewery include a stout (for winter) and a ginger beer.  A new industry has started in Arborea with the procurement of basic cheese making equipment at Christmas, and as stated above this has added a unique Mozzarella to our national dish.

The bird life of Arborea is currently rejoicing as the head of the Department of Ornithology, Maggie the cat, is recuperating after breaking a leg over the New Year holiday.  Fortunately for Maggie theTsar invoked his powers of providing free(ish) animal health care and she can look forward to resuming her duties in a few months’ time.

The Tsar’sTwitter account has been gradually expanding in terms of followers and conversation.  It is great to have a growing interest in our nation, and to learn about the unique cultures of others.  You can follow the Tsar on @Tsarborea.

 

Further milestones

Posted by Tsar William I on December 10, 2011 at 8:10 PM Comments comments (0)

Recent weeks have seen the hatching of two chickens and a duckling in Arborea, making welcome additions to our agricultural resource.  The sex of these youngsters is as yet unknown, and will determine whether they are retained for egg-laying duties or for meat.

In other news, summer has arrived in Arborea and the weather is notably warmer as we approach the festive season.

Tragedy strikes AHAB

Posted by Tsar William I on September 18, 2011 at 7:00 PM Comments comments (0)

Tragic events have unfolded this morning, September 19, as one of Arborea's most promising youngsters has passed away.


Charles, one of twin lambs born to Beatrice the ewe on September 2 this year, was found in a critical condition early this morning near the edge of the Great Plain, at the foot of the Grassy Knoll.  Despite the best efforts of Arborea's chief veterinarian, Charles was unable to be revived.  Post mortem examination was inconclusive as to cause of death, but the most likely explanation is a clostridial infection such as tetanus.


The Tsar has called for a national day of mourning, saying: "Despite this tragic loss, it is the duty of all Arboreans to remain resolute in the face of adversity;  for we are not judged by how we fall, rather by how we pick ourselves back up."


This is a major blow to our agricultural sector - a full third of our lamb production for this season is now lost.  Remaining lambs Andrew and Edward have subsequently been vaccinated as a precaution.

Spring lambs

Posted by Tsar William I on September 2, 2011 at 8:25 AM Comments comments (0)

The Tsar is pleased to announce to the world the arrival of the first livestock to be born in Arborea.  Beatrice the Dorper-Suffolk cross ewe gave birth to twin ram-lambs this morning, and both mother and offspring are doing well.  Our other ewe, Eugenie, remains heavily pregnant.

This not only means a sudden doubling in size for Arborea's sheep flock, but is a significant event for our nation in terms of agricultural output and self-sufficiency.  These two young lambs represent the youth and vigour of our proud nation, and what a land of opportunity Arborea truly is.

In terms of opportunities, these lambs will either become food for Arborea's citizens, be exported to New Zealand to offset Arborea's trade deficit, or leased to nearby small-farm owners as sires of future generations of sheep.  Whatever their fate, their memory shall live on as the pioneers of sheep reproduction in Arborea!

Photos of the lambs can be found here.


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