Arborea

The People's Democratic Autocracy of Arborea

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The Tsar's Reformation Day Speech 2016

Posted by Tsar William I on April 1, 2016 at 6:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Greetings, fellow Earth citizens! For too long now I have not addressed you and it is fair to say, I regret, that activities in Arborea must appear to you to have ground to a halt. But fear not, for we Arboreans have taken on many great projects and achieved many great accomplishments since I last spoke to you all. It is my privelege to announce to you also that Arborea is taking on a renewed spirit of development and optimism for the coming year, and we look forward to sharing it with you.

Since returning to the Arborean Homeland, many great things have happened. The Arborean Horticultural and Agricultural Bureau (AHAB) has recorded a bumper crop of vegetables including tomatoes, pumpkins, capsicums, chillies, potatoes, lettuce, and various herbs and condiments. Our chicken flock continues to provide nutritious eggs, and our sheep are currently visiting a ram in New Zealand, in the hope that we may again see spring lambs on the Great Plain.

We have finally completed the Arborea State Outdoor Bathing Facility, an audacious construction project five years in the making. This wonderful complex uses recycled wooden offcuts from nearby Arborea Heavy Industries to heat rainwater in a recycled iron bathtub strategically placed within the woodland of Arborea's National Forest Park.

Arborea Heavy Industries has significantly increased production, due to the CEO and chief engineer (HH Tsar William I) moving into a new daytime job in New Zealand, allowing more flexible hours and more free time. New garden trellis, a coffee table, and various fixtures and implements for the State Outdoor Bathing Facility have been finely crafted here.

Arborea has a new national musical instrument, after Arborea Heavy Industries used plans from the internet to build a cajon. A cajon is a wooden drum from Peru that creates differently toned notes when struck in different parts. Arborea Heavy Industries has already received its first commission for a custom cajon!

In short, things are moving along splendidly in Arborea. We certainly hope thatall of you are safe and happy, and wish you a wonderful Reformation Day!

New Kiva Loan

Posted by Tsar William I on February 21, 2016 at 9:05 PM Comments comments (0)

As we have done in the past, Arborea has donated money through Kiva (www.kiva.org) to a person in need. This time, we have donated to Umeda, a school teacher in Tajikistan, so she can buy cattle to supplement her family's income and improve the quality of life for her children. We hope she chooses her cattle wisely!

Our triumphant return!

Posted by Tsar William I on May 20, 2015 at 9:00 PM Comments comments (0)

On 16 May 2015 the Tsar and Princess officially returned to power in Arborea. The couple lived in the territory of Viteria for nearly eight months, during which time the condition of the Arborea home territory was closely monitored. Recently it was decided that it would be in the best interests of everyone concerned if full control of Arborea was returned to the Tsar and the Princess, and that the Ormond Accord be declared finished.

Upon arrival it was found that the previous stewards of Arborea had lost control of their guinea pig population, and that a feral pair of these creatures was in residence under the Palace. Within four days this threat was effectively neutralised by Arborea's chief canine biosecurity officer.

With our borders once again secure and the seat of power re-established, Arborea can once again take its place among the great nations of the world!

New Territory!

Posted by Tsar William I on September 24, 2014 at 10:50 PM Comments comments (0)

27 September 2014 will be remembered for the start of a new and significant chapter in Arborean history. The Tsar and Princess have moved to a new property approximately 20 km from the Arborean home territory. This is to take advantage of an opportunity to enhance Arborea’s GDP by leasing territory to tenants from a foreign power, in this case New Zealand. A famous example of such a lease is the Second Convention of Peking signed by China and the United Kingdom in 1898 which gave the British control of Hong Kong for 99 years, ending in 1997. The Ormond Accord, as this new agreement is known, is open ended and allows the Tsar to retain overall control of the Arborean home territory and return to residence there at his discretion.

The new property is not officially a part of Arborea, being a vineyard owned by a local horticultural company. The Tsar has named this temporary home Viteria. It boasts a large house, huge outdoor space, and a significant workshop which now houses Arborea Heavy Industries 2.0. Sadly there is no room for Arborea’s sheep, which have been given away to friends and neighbours.

The Tsar’s official title is now Tsar (in absentia) William I of Arborea, Steward of Viteria, Hero of the Commonwealth.

In other news, Arborea hereby relinquishes its claim to the Bir Tawil region between Egypt and Sudan, as we are realistically very unlikely to ever visit, let alone settle, the area.

 


Overseas trips

Posted by Tsar William I on July 15, 2014 at 5:40 PM Comments comments (0)

The last couple of months have been extremely busy for the Tsar and Princess. The couple spent most of the month of May on honeymoon in Malaysia, where they enjoyed wonderful hospitality, delicious food, magnificent wildlife, and unilaterally recognised state visits to Malaysia and Singapore. Highlights included the food capital of southeast Asia - Melaka, the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Centre, the Kuala Gandah Elephant Sanctuary, and Singapore Zoo. The couple were highly impressed by the level of tolerance and national unity shown by Malays; it was common to find a Mosque, a Church, a Hindu temple, and a Buddhist temple on the same block, with the followers of different faiths all eating breakfast together at nearby cafes after their morning prayers. Perhaps this is something that other, so-called “civilised” nations should aspire to.

Weighed down by copious souvenirs and wonderful memories the couple made it home to Arborea on May 24. The Tsar was only home for a few days, however, before jetting off to Nepal as part of a multinational animal disease surveillance group. The group comprised New Zealanders, Britons, an Australian, an Italian, a Dutchman, and several Nepalese. The trip was to educate foreign officials in disease identification and control, while providing advice to Nepalese authorities from an outside perspective. The Tsar had a wonderful time and made some great new friends while in Nepal, enjoying the food, culture, and souvenir shopping of Kathmandu, Bhaktapur, and Patan. It was a relief, however, for the Tsar to finally return to Arborea after a long time away from home.

Below:  Preparing for disease surveillance!

 

New Kiva loan provided

Posted by Tsar William I on December 12, 2013 at 5:25 PM Comments comments (0)

Arborea is proud to announce the provision of our third loan through the microfinance organisation Kiva (www.kiva.org).  We have lent $US25 to Roman, a villager in the Marneuli district of Georgia, to help him purchase cows for his family to milk and produce dairy products.

Previously Arborea has provided finance for seeds and fertiliser to a farmer in Armenia, and for a farmer in Tajikistan to purchase calves.

Kiva is a non-profit organisation committed to improving conditions in developing nations.  Arborea is proud to be a contributor to this initiative.

The Gyanganj Irritation

Posted by Tsar William I on December 9, 2013 at 5:35 PM Comments comments (0)

On 2 December 2013 Arborea came under verbal attack via Twitter.  The attacker was the unnamed President of the Democratic Republic of Gyanganj.  The cause of the attack appears to be the Tsar’s decision to no longer follow Gyanganj’s twitter postings.  Over the following five days the Tsar and Arborea in general were subjected to various childish and abusive tweets, ranging from accusations of racism and bigotry to simple juvenile name-calling.  The President of Gyanganj concluded by stating that he refuses to recognise Arborean sovereignty, has placed Arborea on his “axis of evil”, and that he has international support for his fight against Arborean racism.

Needless to say, the Tsar dismissed these allegations and personal attacks as the ravings of a belligerent lunatic.  A thorough review of Arborea’s website and twitter postings revealed no evidence of racism or bigotry (especially when compared to the twitter postings of the aforementioned lunatic).

The Tsar calmly explained twice to the President that Arborea neither seeks nor requires recognition of sovereignty – a fact that any visitor to our website can see for themselves.  Following the second explanation the abusive tweets abruptly stopped, leading us to believe that the message has finally gotten through.

In a brief address to the nation at the conclusion of hostilities, the Tsar had this to say:

“I believe I speak for all serious micronationalists when I say that running our countries is an engaging pastime or at the least a rewarding hobby.  Micronationalism is not a contest – there are no winners or losers.  It is about expressing our culture, our beliefs, and our way of life, not to argue why ours is better than others.  I hope that we can all learn from the outcome of this conflict, and my thoughts are with the unfortunate people of Gyanganj under their current President.”

To date we have been unable to locate a website or even a basic description of the Democratic Republic of Gyanganj.

Royal Wedding

Posted by Tsar William I on December 5, 2013 at 3:40 PM Comments comments (0)

On 26 October 2013 His Highness Tsar William I and Princess Janey were married on the shore of Lake Taupo near Lakeside Province.  Approximately 85 guests from as far away as Canada attended the ceremony and subsequent celebrations.  The Royal couple are now happily back in Arborea and are planning their honeymoon trip to Malaysia in 2014.


Tsar reacts to US shootings

Posted by Tsar William I on October 3, 2013 at 3:10 PM Comments comments (0)

The Tsar today reiterated the warning to Arboreans wishing to travel to the United States due to the constant threat of insane gunmen.

In response to the recent reports of gunshots outside the US Capitol in Washington, DC, the Tsar offered the assistance of the Arborea Defence Service, saying that the preservation of the US government was vital to Arborean interests in the region.  As yet no reply has been received.

To date, Arborea has never had a mass shooting.

Extreme weather

Posted by Tsar William I on July 15, 2013 at 4:25 PM Comments comments (0)

A winter storm has provided record-breaking rainfall and rather inclement climatic conditions in Arborea and neighbouring regions of New Zealand.  The month of June was the wettest month since records began, with 95 mm of rainfall recorded.  However, the last five days have eclipsed this total, with 124 mm recorded so far.

The Tsar stresses that there is no cause for alarm, and that the Arborea Defence Service's 1st Gutter Clearing Engineer Corps has responded admirably to the conditions.


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